Yesterday I was talking– yet again–with some friends about poverty. More than once in the last few years, I have had more or less this same conversation. Different friends say different things but no matter what they believe, I always feel like they paint the situation too simple. Eek, maybe I’m the problem!

Some of my friends say poor people are poor because they make bad choices; too many cigarettes, for instance, or not sticking with a job. Others of my friends say it’s all the government’s fault. The government should give more money to poor people so that it’s a more equal playing field. Rich people start out with loads of money, so of course they don’t get poor.

At first, I always want to argue. I don’t like when people try to make things too simple. But does it help to argue? Sometimes people simply believe what they will, no matter how many facts you throw at them. Often we as humans don’t change our minds until our experience changes.

I am learning there is another way: try to understand why people have the beliefs they do. The next time I feel upset by an opinion different to mine, I’m going to try something. I’m going to try asking questions. When have you seen this happen? Why do you feel the way you do? When did you start thinking this? I will try to ask good questions that the other people want to answer.

And the longer I think about it, the more I can see that I am actually interested in their answer. I still think it is wrong when people don’t think about the other side. Yet it is also important for me to be curious and friendly toward those same people and show them compassion. After all, you can practice compassion anywhere — not just with poor people in ghettoes.